This review first appeared in the Irish Daily Mail in February 2012
Brendan Behan
used to claim that members of the Garda Siochana were recruited by luring them
from the Kerry mountains with hunks of raw meat. I can't vouch for the veracity
of this obersavtion as it was way before my time; but there's no doubt that the
relationship between the average Irish male and the flesh of animals, is close
and lip-smacking.
It's more
likely that a GAA or rugby star will take to competitive crochet than veganism.
Our teams have been built on meat, and plenty of it.
It is
appropriate then that Jamie Heaslip has joined forces with Joe Macken (of
Jo'Burger, CrackBird and Skinflint) to create not a lentil bar but a restaurant
in which bits of dead animal have heat applied to them.
The cuts avoid
the usual suspects. You can have onglet for €24.95 or bavette for €29.95, a
flank for €34.95 or a London Broil for €59.95.
Now, I don't
know what a London broil is, but the rest are cheaper cuts that require quick
cooking and then to be sliced across the grain of the meat. You get chew but
you get first rate flavour.
And so it
proved with our massive onglet. It would have been sufficient to serve three
ravenous Irish males and perfectly adequate to satisfy four normal human
beings. We brought half of it home with us.
And how was
it? This monumental piece of meat was
nicely charred outside and nicely rarely within, a near perfect exercise in
steak cooking. Part of it could have been better trimmed (had this been New
York, the stringy bits would have constituted a capital offence) but overall it
was a fine piece of meat and full of good, beefy flavour. Indeed, it set one
wondering why such a steak experience is so rare - no pun, honestly - in this
land of ours which produces the finest beef in the world.
So Bear - this
is what the restaurant is called, for no apparent reason - does a good piece of
steak and at a fair price. It's a shame about much of the rest.
Jamie and Joe,
I have to tell you this. Cold mashed spud mixed with a bit of smoked haddock
and dumped in a jam jar is not, by any stretch of the imagination, "smoked
haddock skordalia". It's unpleasant, fishy mashed spud in a jam jar and I
can't imagine anyone being prepared to part with €6.95 for it.
Now lads,
"toasts"? Well where do we start? You shouldn't have to be told this
but there's an ocean of difference between bread (even good bread, as it is
here) that has spent a few moments in a toaster and thus become tepid and, you
know, toast. Crisp, er, toasted toast. Tepid bread is unpleasant.
Not quite as
unpleasant as cold, fishy mashed spud in a jam jar, admittedly, but not nice.
At all.
Lads, I don't
know if you'e ever had actual skordalia but bear in mind that the conventional
version, made with breadcrumbs, needs a lot of really good olive oil and either
almonds or walnuts to make it work. They use spud in Cephalonia and they have
to try even harder to make it taste good.
Your "salt
and vinegar fries" turned out to be slices of fried, unpeeled potato which
managed to be sweet, flabby and overbrowned (all because the wrong kind of spud
was employed). They were revolting and we sent them back. "Fries"
were at least chip-shaped but equally unpleasant because, again, the spud was
wrong.
There are
potatoes that make good chips and potatoes that should never be used in this
capacity. Honestly, you shouldn't have to be told this.
Look, if you're
doing really good steak at a decent price, is it too much to ask for a crisp,
properly made chip? And while you're at it, what is steak withhout bearnaise
sauce? You have a few details to work out, lads...
With four
glasses of wine, our bill came to €77.
Bear
34/35 South
William Street
Dublin 2
www.twitter.com/beardublin
WINE CHOICE:
Oh dear, it's
one of those wine lists that seem to have just happened without any reason,
rationale, point... It's been a while since we saw any Bulgarian wine in
Ireland. Taste Domaine Boyar Cabernet (€18) and you will understand why. It's
foul. Domaine Boisson Cotes du Rhone is OK at €25 (or €6.50/€8.50 for a small/large glass). Bear in mind that
Chianti Corale (€23) is not made by Badia a Coltiuono as claimed here.
THE SMART
MONEY:
There's no
arguing with the value offered by the shared grills.
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